on self-worth, healing, and following the (heart)beat of your own drum (as seen on my substack!)
hi love bugs 🐛🌱
happy new moon in virgo and welcome back to the newsletter of my digital garden of musings <3
I hope yall imagine this newsletter arriving in your inbox like the love letter emoji, a tiny envelope sealed with a heart that opens to a small puff of even smaller hearts, and not a dense, heavy-to-read email from your supervisors or administrators (happy back to school season to those it applies!)
so the drill? grab your fun drink of choice and kick back – mine is my signature Moroccan mint tea from Trader Joe’s that I love to eat after dinner (as it’s a bit after midnight).
🎶 Now playing: Wherever U Go // Raveena 🎶
I’m writing this shortly after watching Raveena’s “Asha’s Awakening Live” video she recently uploaded last Friday. Something I’ve started doing more recently in the pandemic is watching NPR Tiny Desk performances or my favorite artist’s concert experiences online while working or eating meals on my own, and I had been meaning to watch Raveena’s video as I love (love!!!) Asha’s Kiss and her entire latest album (and discography likee who are we kidding yall know she my cousin fr!) After watching I had the biggest craving to listen to Wherever U Go, which she released as part of her Shanti EP in 2017 but had to remove because of an uncleared sample (Somebody Told a Lie by Ashford & Simpson to be exact). I remember listening to this song in the mornings while commuting to high school my senior year, which felt full of wondrous, somnambulous, sun-rinsed enchantment -as any seventeen-year-old girl witnessing the world unravel before her would feel.
A lot of old memories like this have been invoked in me lately. Firstly, in the observation of old patterns and cycles repeating. A cool exercise I’ve come up with this summer in culminating all the fixations I’ve jumped onto is writing cute little lists archiving each month in order to remember all my musings for my hyperactive mutable sign dominant mind. Here’s an example!
I divide the page into sections of music, readings, inspirations, and themes that have remained for days. I find that this helps me track all the things I want to complete (such as a book or a lesson that seems to keep popping up) as well as note all that hasn’t worked for me that needs to be removed/fixed in my life. This month was full of nostalgically listening to old music, learning the vocal runs on Renaissance (with a good amount of hours spent on plastic off the sofa and virgo’s groove specifically bc WHEW), dream journaling, and shadow work on the themes of grieving family and self-confidence.
I’ve found a lot of joy this Leo season indulging in the creative direction for my next music video/single release, which I haven’t hinted tooo much at yet but am excited to get started on ;) But in being transparent about the process, I’ve definitely come to a halt at times with imposter syndrome and doubt regarding the signs and synchronicities I see nudging me towards centering on music. It’s easy to ride a high and feel one’s own growth and crash the next day comparing yourself to others’ journeys. It’s important at times like that to unplug, affirm our unique offerings to the table, and live without putting ourselves on a merit scale for our self-worth. Defining my own worth post-graduation is an overarching theme throughout the summer. With no grades, no awards, and a lack of physical community how do I recognize my own value? How do I measure my own progress if I don’t get a little certificate at the end of every little accomplishment?
The answer to this question (so far) for me is writing weekly gratitude lists and monthly archival lists. Rewarding myself for the little things, such as responding to emails or tending to my plants, making an intentional dinner with a family recipe, or singing my favorite songs with no goal but to feel at home in my body and voice helps me register these feelings of success and joy in my body without external validation. That being said, there is nothing wrong with wanting affirmation from others, we as people are community oriented and we should not forget that while we should be able to lift ourselves up, it’s also great to be uplifted by and uplift our loved ones.
I feel that a lot of artists can relate to the grapple of choosing convention versus listening to their own intuition. Feeling the need to compromise on our dreams in order to sustain ourselves financially is more common than we think, and is not something we should punish ourselves for. After all, a huge part of creating is living. If not, where do we source inspiration from authentically? Of course, it’s hard to not punish ourselves for being productive in the labels we attach our identities to (musicians, artists, entrepreneurs all alike), but it’s important to remember that we are so valuable simply for just existing. When we keep track of all the things that make us feel blessed, of all the things that remind us of how beautiful this world is, we do ourselves a favor in learning ourselves a bit more, which then allows us to find our value in simply being. All of us bring something unique to the table that no one else does and for that, we are precious too.
Credit: @slimyoddity on Twitter
astrology tidbit: with mars now ingressing into Gemini for the next seven months, be a witness to the house Gemini rules in your chart. Be patient with it, stand up for yourselves, and proofread everything hehe. Also make sure to note the house ruled by Virgo in your chart as it gets highlighted as the area in your life which is asking to be organized and initiated upon (for example, leo risings the new moon is in your 2nd house of values like finances, material possession, and self-worth & pisces risings this new moon is in your 7th house of relationships).
If you’re interested in receiving a natal chart reading from me as well as any other services I am available through the DM as always! Additionally, because my friends always surprise me with their hidden talents and resources, if anyone owns a harp/guiro/bongos/video camera/film camera and would like to give it away/let me borrow or if you mix and master music or edit music videos/have access to premiere pro or adobe cloud- do contact me ;)
I invite you to be curious about the things you love, have a grounded sense of self, and believe the universe is conspiring in your favor (because it is!)
May this Virgo season find you (mostly) well-rested and ready to file all the extravagant ideas in the caverns of your mind into the world.
love,
neptunemuse ✨🌺